It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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