So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
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Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
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I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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