her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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