Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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