I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
