it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
