Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
