I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
