It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
