Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
