Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
