I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
