Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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