Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize