If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
