I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
