True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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