so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
