i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
