I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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