They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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