Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
