She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
