He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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