This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
