So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
