I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
