I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I use my feet as sexual weapons
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
