You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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