Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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