if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize