All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
