dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
