Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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