I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
