Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
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Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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