I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
