What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
