I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
