I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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