Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
