Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
