Dude my mom stole all your condoms
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i think im in europe. pls send help
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
