On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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