he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
