Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you have to choose: penises or morals?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
