so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
