You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
