I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
do nipples grow back?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
