allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
one might say we're banned from that church
I think I won the penis lottery.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is an equal opportunity slut.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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