Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
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While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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