He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So squirting runs in the family.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize