Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
