I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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