Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
