my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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