Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
