Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
