My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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