how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Oh god it's open bar.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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