so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
