She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
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He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize